“So, I guess my baby will have to wait. This shouldn’t be so bad, I’ll get to learn and experience a new culture, I think. I love that, especially the fast pace of life in these so called 1st world countries. I’ll also learn a thing or two. Sure by the time I get back all my friends will be miles ahead of me as their currently pursuing their masters. I could also would do that but it would take longer coz my degree had nada to do with what I want to end up doing, but I’ve always enjoyed learning new things. Am a workaholic by nature too. Hmmm… Anyway, different lives, different scripts right.”
These are the thoughts running through my mind right now. I feel like my world has just come crumbling down on me. Or maybe am just being mellow dramatic. Yea, sure I know it’ll all work out but at this very moment, (08.09.2015) that is how exactly I feel.
Oops, y’all don’t know what am talking about. Ok, this mini panic that I am sure will cause me some sleepless nights has been caused by the actual realization that I will not get what I want (at least not now). I have stayed the last couple of months thinking and strategizing, hell I’ve even gotten office space and a work assistant and life is so fucking cruel coz when I had the chance to stop before I got to cloud 10 fucking million, life so it fit to create a miscommunication between me and my very loving awesome mother.
So, I have this great business idea after being shot down by a consultancy firm early this year which resulted in me throwing in the towel on employment. To make things worse, before I went to tarmacing to seek a job at this great consultancy firm doing the type of thing I wouldn’t mind spending hours working for, I had made my peace with going abroad. Later that day, I went to a friend’s office to wallow about how this whole “biochem ish” is not working out for me and he goes like, “Well, do you have any ideas that you would pursue instead of looking for a job?” Now, anybody who knows me knows am not the type to dream small. I go big because what’s the need for dreaming if you’re not going to do it big right? So I went on and on about my linguist idea let’s call it that and he at least helped me get a liner budget start-up that I had thought originally. So we came up with a budget and I leave his office and go home with a shine in my eyes (I think). I then start thinking of ways to make it better and expansion strategies and social media marketing… The following day I go back and we come up with a budget. This time after seeing the figure, am a bit sceptic but the returns, mmmmh child… let’s say the turnover would be realized in half a year. Anyway, I get home and share my idea with my mum and she absolutely loves it. So much so that she even agrees to fund it. Like 100% funding. As you can imagine, I was ecstatic!!!
Fast forward to three weeks ago and I meet this agent guy who shows me two office spaces (there’s a story about him btw) anyway, one was in a perfect location but it just wasn’t working with me structure wise and the other one, child; I will not even get into details with that. So I go home a bit down then I search the web and see these spaces available at 680 hotel and HALLA!!! They’re exactly what I want. So the following day, Vee huyo… hadi town.
Me: “Ring ring, I saw you’re advertisement online and I would like to see the offices.”
Him: “hey, am sorry but I am not around at the moment, if you don’t mind talking to my colleague, I will send you his number, he should assist you.”
I call the 2nd guy and I go to see the offices and O.M.G! I feel in love, a hall just as I wanted, at 680, the middle of town, and two balconies to top it off. I felt like I just worn a lottery. I ask for the price and the number is twice what we had worked with in the budget but I don’t mind because it’s a great location and exactly what I wanted. So when I go home, I tell my mum about the space and the price then she goes like, wait, hold up, how much? That’s the moment I knew I might be fucked. I get frustrated but I figure it can be resolved by just letting my siblings in on it (like I had earlier planned) and maybe they could contribute to make the amount. So I bring it up to them, I expected worse but funny enough, the initial reception was great so step number 2, I set up a conference call so that we can go through the nitty gritty. That finally happened tonight and well, I did not hear what I was expecting or wanted. So am back to the drawing board.
Do you see how from the get go to now the universe has just been setting me up for this stupid ass practical joke. I have to convince myself that maybe this so-called American Dream might just be real. :’) :’) L.M.A.O. no way am getting sold on that stupid dream will probably never even happen. Anyway, I am back to trying to convince myself that leaving might be the best thing for me and my “baby” but hey, “pesa ndio kitu sina, jukumu ni lazima (sign)”
So at the end of it all, I just don’t know what to do. Whether to put it off, or whether I should maybe look for investors. But what if I go get someone to invest and it fails? It’s different when its family money because you could always just pay them back at a later day. Not that I was planning on letting it fail but you know a legal loan gives you more pressure. If only tonight I slept and had a sign at least hinting on what I should do, that would be great. Sigh…
(excuse my language)
Anyway loves, have a good one. Till next time. *kisses *she’s out.
justveee :) 